It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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