i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
