did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
