Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Farmville is her only friend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
