I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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