I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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