That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
