Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
