Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize