Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
