this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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