But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
