Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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