you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
