Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
