literally had 100 drinks last night.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
