Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
