I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
