Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
