Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
