Your mouth is God's brothel.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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