I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
True college students do jello shots in the library
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