thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
