i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
