Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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