I could have mohawked her pubes.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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