So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
