I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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