I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just had sex bonerless
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
