I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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