You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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