dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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