So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
