Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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