I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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