We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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