They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
