We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
