they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Randomize
