true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
