I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
