I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
