I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize