my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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