She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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