That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
