I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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