Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize