And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
