but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
