Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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