it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize