gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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