Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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