I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
