so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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