Duck Duck Cougar?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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