Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
