so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
