sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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