WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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