what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
