U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
