best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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